Today is Valentine's Day. It was a rough morning for me. That's because I am now taking a benzo med and prozac and cogentin and my thyroid meds. I don't like being on these drugs. I would rather be the old me. I feel like I can't concentrate and focus for more than a few hours. My quality of life is suffering I believe. My husband tells me to keep taking the meds or he will stop taking his. He says I need this medicine. Bah humbug! I feel like a total zombie. I am holding it together only because I do NOT want to go back into the psych ward. Sigh. I am a control freak and can be manipulative. I think that maybe I am afraid of this medicine and the side effects aren't as bad as I think they are. I am trying to rule my thoughts but having a hard time doing that. I actually have more panic attacks since being on medication. A counselor said she didn't think I am bipolar but I'm still labeled as Bipolar with psychosis and paranoia. I think I just need to think happy thoughts to be me or the best me I can be. I don't want to keep taking these meds.